you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
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My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
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Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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