I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
