She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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