u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
