i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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