We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
