It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
