If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize