He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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