The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
