I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
