Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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