evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
