sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
