Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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