she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
3pm strippers are depressing
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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