I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
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Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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