Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
i now understand why vodka
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
