the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
