Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
