Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
they need to just BURY HIM!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
