So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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