I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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