and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
