you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
