I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
