I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
