youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
