I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
