its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
