Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
