New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
