It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
