At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
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There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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