i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
i out mim tonsoeep
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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