We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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