What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize