the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I intend to get homeless drunk
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
