So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
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She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
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We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
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