More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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