Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend