I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
