and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!