You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
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I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
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It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT