Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
