What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
