What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
