I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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