Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We're too hungover to prance.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
