Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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