one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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