your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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