I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
