Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
