I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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