he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
