new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Shame - the story of my life.
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