You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
