I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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